Test footage

This... may be one of the shittiest videos ever made.

In its defense (and mine), you must understand that I have never done this before. As a child, I did not have access to video recording devices. My parents didn't own any, and if my friends did, they sure as hell were not about to let a bunch of kids go play with the thing. I have no formal education in the use of video editing software, and the little I have in audio tech is functionally useless. I fully admit that it is annoying as hell to have a ripple-cut between virtually every single sentence in this thing. I know the title and credit screens are badly timed, weirdly formatted, and... oh yeah, that little matter of the missing soundtrack.

This video makes me look like a total fool.

So why the hell, you ask, am I uploading and blogging it?

Because... this is the process.

I've seen a lot of people who look at film makers ranging in levels of professionalism from Tim Burton to independent folks who do all the scripting, camera work, directing, and editing either completely by themselves or with the help of only a handful of other people... newbies like me who see the potential and decide that's where their calling is. I've observed that a lot of these people refuse to even TRY to maintain an objective view of their work and think that as long as they can point a camera at themselves and eat the scenery, they're going to be successful. Because they are ~geniuses~.

Right. Well. I've felt the bite of that bug, too. I've lived a life driven by the desire to find a spotlight and ham it up. I've spent nights dreaming about epic shit I could do if I only had the time or the money or the equipment or whatever. I have no aspirations towards becoming a Hollywood starlet and never have, it's just all about the art to me, the creative process, the potential for independent success.

I think a lot of people share that drive and desire with me in exactly the same way. I've seen a lot of them take advantage of it on their own and become successful independent writers, directors, producers, editors, and actors in their own series. And that is the gift of YouTube and other video hosting options on the internet. It really is a lot easier now than it was when the seeds of my imaginary successes were planted.

HOWEVER... this still takes a lot of fucking work. I've done only really three videos consisting entirely of pasted-together clips from my camera and I can see that, and I went into this project knowing that it would not be easy.

So after all that tl;dr, the point is... I've been fortunate enough to be able to gradually acquire a variety of technical components that will ultimately go into making videos -- I've had a Macbook for a while now, and was recently able to afford a camcorder. Since my obligations at work mean I can't continue taking classes this semester, I decided to instead spend my extra time working on promoting myself through my art in a way that is equally or MORE productive than taking classes. I'm pursuing a dream a lot of people have, and doing it (for now) entirely with my own money, using whatever free time I am able to grasp between responsibilities towards work, family, and personal chores.

I'm blogging my really shitty videos to show people that no matter how good your ideas are, you can't be a Picasso or Da Vinci starting the day you buy your camera. I'm blogging my first nonsensical, badly-edited, badly-acted, unrefined, vague, experimental, 2-a.m.-recording-session BULLSHIT because it is truly SHIT. But this is what it takes to follow your passion.

I don't know whether this will ultimately be a successful venture. I don't know whether any of the ideas I intend to express through my videos will be liked or even watched. All I know right now is that I'm 26 years old and living with my parents and it's about goddamn time I stopped fucking around and took advantage of my ability to afford a camera and a webspace and just shoot for the stars, because whether or not my video ideas ultimately gather any significant audience, I know objectively that I have too much fucking talent to waste it as a perpetual student and unqualified employee doing a job I hate, and hate myself for doing.

Whatever life you have outside the thing that sparks your soul into electric motion and makes your blood pound and your mind spin in the euphoric knowledge of your own potential, you have to pay your dues and learn to walk before you can run.

Genius doesn't manifest overnight, if it manifests EVER. This is my progress, my experiment, my experience, recorded here for whatever good it might do to someone who comes after me, or entertainment it provides for whoever wanders casually into my corner of the internet. For good or bad, this is me, finally, determined and naive and stupid, giving up sleep and food and a lot else because goddammit, I can't NOT do this.

Pedestrians who stray this way, may you be able to someday proudly raise the middle finger of contempt towards all the assenine bullshit that stands between you and your fucking life, and may that day be soon.